A Chunk of SciFi – 2.08 EngTech Body Spray

“Yes to us that smells weird and musky, but to them, it’s the sweetest aroma…now freshen up, they’ll be here soon”
Moments before the signing of a peace treaty

[No image with this post as I couldn’t find one I liked and could use without it looking like an advert for body sprays]

When humanity first stepped into the galactic stage, there were concerns. What about diseases, culture shock or being outclassed in many technological fields. These were expected and prepared for. What was not prepared for was the assault on our olfactory sense – or, to put it another way…the smell. Every species had their own aroma, from what appears to us to be lilac and vanilla for one, with another species, although incredibly friendly, smelt like rancid meat. Apparently, this went both ways, with many species declaring that humanity had a smell that can best be described as what we would call methane mixed with ammonia and sulfur. In other words….farts.

This made face to face negotiations hard for both parties. One species walked into a meeting one time and promptly vomited due to the smell, as they had never encountered what became known as the “human smell” before. They were very understanding but to them, it was so potent and invasive that they now refuse to ever be in the same room as a human. They still negotiated and attend the meeting but either via proxy or hologram. This gave the species the nickname “Vommiters” around the galaxy.

This was the last straw. Despite what many thought, the creatures from Earth wanted to be part of the community. It wasn’t until an alien diplomat discovered his counterparts can of deodorant that a solution was hatched. A potent and longer lasting form of deodorant. One that would smell pleasant, or at least not make anyone want to vomit. The call was put out to various company around the galaxy, with a guaranteed income for the creator.

After many false trials and incidents, including one that literally made one of the alien testers eyes explode, a winner was found. Created by a company called EngTech, they had come up with a body spray that 90% of species that used it found pleasant. Each dosage lasts for 20 hours or so, with time taken off if physical exertion occurs. Using a form of pheromones and what the adverts dub “exotic aromas”, the EngTech Body Spray (EBS) has been a life saver for those that interact with multiple species. Each species seems to think it sells different, but , via translations and metaphors, it seems that all think it has a rather pleasant and earthy aroma. Even the Vommiters, although they still can’t bring themselves to be in the same room as humans, have called the smell satisfactory.

There are growing calls for this expensive products to be made more readily available. EngTech are working round the clock to do, as they know if they can get their flagship product into the hands of the masses, their income will be beyond their wildest dreams.

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